


My dream girl don't exist

by Chlorinemachine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, One-Sided Relationship, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chlorinemachine/pseuds/Chlorinemachine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanaya thinks some things over</p>
            </blockquote>





	My dream girl don't exist

Kanaya cried into the dress. She was staining the fabric with jade tears; it didn't matter. Nothing mattered right now except the gaping hole in her heart.

Vriska was a horrible person. She was abusive and mean. She hurt people and laughed at it. She was a master manipulator and her special talent was making people feel like shit. But Kanaya loved her. She wanted to fix her, to make her a better person, to help her. Maybe it was selfish, cross that, it was selfish. It was the most selfish notion Kanaya had ever attempted.mAybe she wasn't even in love with Vriska, just a delusional idea of the person she could be.

Kanaya screamed as she pushed her dress mannequin over. She clawed at her face until she could feel blood and skin underneath her nails. 'Vriska's never going to love you',she thought to herself. 'She's not the person you want her to be.' 

When Vriska asked Kanaya to name her the dress, she complied without question. Kanaya had always wanted to see Vriska in a dress. Sure, her usual over sized button up shirt and jeans combo had its charms, but Kanaya longed to see her in a dress with her makeup done and her hair styled, and best of all, the dress made by Kanaya. But the dress had just become a tool in her seduction of Tavros. And Kanaya knew she didn't even actually love or pity Tavros. She didn't even hate him. She was just fucking with him. And doing so in the dress that Kanaya made for her. It was so unfair. It was heart wrenching. 

Kanaya cried herself to sleep that night. And when she woke, she cleaned her room and fixed her dress. She acted as if nothing happened, and styled her hair to cover the scars on her face.

* * *

 

"I think I'm over her," she thought to herself. The Rose human had caught her interest. She was a wonderful person truly, a mystery wrapped in strange human sarcasm and loquacious paragraphs of intelligence. For the first time in such a long time, Kanaya found herself feeling hopeful. Vriska was no longer the apple of her eye. She hardly even thought of her anymore. If anything, she resented her. She refused to respond to any of Vriska's messages. She ignored her as much as possible.

 Kanaya was in front of her computer. The room was practically empty. She was lost in thought, thinking about the crazy happenings that had occurred recently.

"Heeeeeeeey fussyfangs!" That overly dramatic trill voice broke the silence.

"Hello Vriska."

"Hey, you know what I miss?"

Vriska took Kanaya's silence as a Que to continue.

"When we used to have,y'know, actual conversations," Vriska said, leaning on the table space next to Kanaya's computer.

"And I miss when you didn't take every opportunity possible to flirt with our teammates as well as the humans." Kanaya was swift and emotionless with her response, even though rage was boiling within her.

"UGH! See, this is why I don't talk to you anymore! You've become nothing more than a cold fussy bitch whose jealous of everyone for just having fun!!!!!!!!" Vriska said, raising her voice," and to think I was going to ask you at some point to be my morail!"

 Kanaya stopped.

"Really?"

"Yeah but now I deffinately don't want to be your morail! I pity you, only because you're a fucking bitch!!!!!!!!"

Vriska stormed off. Kanaya was completely frozen. She just sat there for minutes, her mind completely empty. And then she started crying.

* * *

 "You're so pretty like this fussyfangs," Vriska mewed as she kissed Kanaya on the side of her mouth," you've always been the prettiest troll I've ever known."

"As are you," Kanaya replied, wrapping her arms around Vriska's torso.

"Oh pleeeeeeease, Im like a solid 4 out of 10." Vriska said.

"I have no idea what that means."

"Its just something I picked up from the humans, but hey, lets not talk about that...lets talk about how pretty your eyes look in this light...and how soft your skin is..."

 Kanaya kissed Vriska and pulled her closer to her. Vriska took Kanaya's skirt off and was writing words into her thighs with her fingers. Kanaya was lightly running her nails across Vriska's back. There was a sudden flashback to Kanaya ripping the flesh off of her face that one night, but she quickly pushed it to the back of her head as she nearly melted away in Vriska's mouth. 

"Kanaya, " Vriska said.

"Yes dear?" Kanaya responded

"Be my matesprit?"

"Of course."

Then Kanaya woke up. Alone, on the horn pile. No one was in the room. She couldn't even hear anyone. She felt utter loniless and despair, because she knew her dream would never come true. Because that Vriska wasn't real.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow that was angsty as hell lol


End file.
